Coping with Grief During the Holiday Season: Understanding, Managing, and Finding Support
Coping with Grief During the Holiday Season: Understanding, Managing, and Finding Support
The holiday season often holds positive connotations as a time of joy and togetherness, but for those who are grieving, it can be a painful and isolating experience. If you are navigating the holidays while coping with the loss of a loved one, it can be challenging to navigate the complex emotions that can arise. On this week’s episode of the More Than A Therapy Couch podcast, we sit down with experienced grief therapist and founder and owner of Tree of Life Counseling Center, Aly Resnick, LPC, LMHC, ACS, to discuss why grief can intensify during the holidays and practical strategies to cope.
Why can grief intensify during the holiday season?
The holidays, particularly the first holiday season spent without a loved one, can trigger a resurgence of grief for a variety of reasons. Resnick shares “this time of year is particularly difficult for a lot for people, especially around those who have lost someone because their absence is obvious. They’re not physically at the Thanksgiving table. They’re not physically at the holiday table. It can be really challenging to look around the room and not see your loved one.” Some additional reasons grief can intensify during the holiday season include:
Heightened expectations of joy and togetherness: Traditional media and social media often depict the holidays as a time of happiness, family gatherings, and festive celebrations. This can create a stark contrast for those who are grieving, and further amplify feelings of intense sadness or loneliness.
Nostalgic memories and traditions: Holiday traditions and rituals that may have been shared with a loved one who is no longer here can bring up bittersweet feelings and serve as a reminder of their absence.
Social and family pressures: Pressure to attend holiday gatherings and be cheerful can feel overwhelming to someone who is grieving, particularly if others are unaware of their loss.
End-of-year reflections: As the year comes to an end, many individuals reflect on their lives, which can bring up memories of loved ones who have passed away. Additionally, the holidays may mark significant anniversaries, making grief feel more acute.
What are some coping strategies for those grieving during the holiday season?
Navigating feelings of grief during the holidays is a deeply personal experience. Some common strategies that may help manage emotions and find moments of peace include:
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Grieving individuals can feel a wide range of emotions during this time of year. It is important to note that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, whether it is sadness, anger, or even moments of joy.
Set Boundaries and Prioritize Self-Care
The holidays can be filled with social obligations, but it is okay to set limits. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to events that feel too difficult or overwhelming to attend. Prioritize activities that bring you comfort.
Create New Traditions or Rituals
If old traditions are too painful to participate in without a loved one who has passed, consider creating new ones that can honor them in a way that brings you peace. Some examples include lighting a candle in their memory, making a donation in their name, volunteering, or writing them a letter expressing how you feel. These new traditions can help provide a sense of connection and comfort.
Find Moments of Joy
Allow yourself to experience joy, even if it may feel fleeting. Engaging in activities that bring you happiness can provide a temporary break from grief and remind you that it is okay to feel comfort and peace.
Reach Out for Support
Grief can feel isolating, especially during the holidays. It is important to reach out for support, whether it is from friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your feelings with someone who understands can be incredibly healing.
Despite implementing acts of self-care and acceptance, Resnick reminds individuals that “grief is not linear…it takes time and space and as much of it as you need to go through it and grow through it. And that’s okay.”
Where can those grieving go for extra support during the holidays?
If you are struggling with grief this holiday season, don’t hesitate to reach out to others for support. Some sources of grief support can include:
Friends and Family:
Individual Therapy: Everyone grieves differently. One-on-one sessions with a licensed professional can help you process your emotions in a safe space and develop healthy coping strategies.
Support Groups: Connecting with others who are also grieving can offer comfort and a sense of community. Good Grief is a local non-profit organization in Princeton, NJ that offers grief support to children and families coping with the loss of a loved one.
When reflecting on her personal experiences with grief, Resnick shared “I thought the world was going to end. This person was everything to me. When he died, I remember my friend asking me how she could support me and I said I don’t know, but can you just come sit with me because I’m scared… Grief can really feel lonely, but that doesn’t mean you have to be alone.”
When should I see a professional?
If you or a loved one are experiencing grief this holiday season that cannot be managed on your own or is interfering with your daily life, it may be time to consult a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychiatric nurse practitioner.
About Tree of Life Counseling Center
At Tree of Life Counseling Center in Princeton, NJ and Freehold, NJ, we have an experienced team of 50+ clinicians to help support you, and your family, through whatever you may be facing. Schedule an appointment today by calling 732-393-8391 or filling out an online form at https://www.treeoflifecc.org/start-today
